Both man and woman are endowed with intellect and volition, but for men intellect tends to take the lead, while for women it is volition that does so; and people are characterized by what is in control. There is no controlling, though, in marriages in the heavens. The volition of the wife actually belongs to the husband and the intellect of the husband belongs to the wife. This is because each wants to intend and think like the other, mutually, that is, and reciprocally. This is how the two are united into one.
This is a truly effective union. The intent of the wife actually enters into the thinking of the husband, and the thinking of the husband enters into the intent of the wife, especially when they look each other in the face, since as already noted there is a sharing of thoughts and affections in the heavens. There is all the more sharing between a wife and a husband because they love each other.
We may gather from this what the union of minds is like that makes a marriage and that gives birth to marriage love in the heavens—it is that each wants his or her blessings to belong to the other, and that this is mutual.
I have been told by angels that the more two spouses are engaged in this kind of union, the more they are caught up in marriage love and, at the same time, in intelligence, wisdom, and happiness. This is because divine truth and divine good, the source of all intelligence, wisdom, and happiness, flow primarily into marriage love. This means that marriage love is the essential matrix for the divine inflow because it is itself a marriage of the true and the good. This in turn is because the nature of the union of intellect and volition determines the nature of the union of the true and the good because the intellect is a receptor of divine truth, being formed from truths, while volition is a receptor of divine good and is actually formed from things good. In fact, whatever we intend is good in our estimation, and whatever we understand is true for us. This is why it is all the same whether you talk about the union of intellect and intent or the union of the true and the good.
The union of the true and the good makes an angel, and also makes angels’ intelligence, wisdom, and happiness. The actual nature of angels depends on how what is true in them is united to what is good, and what is good is united to what is true. In other words, the nature of angels depends on the way their love is united to their faith and their faith to their love.
from Heaven and Hell, Sections 369, 370